| Location | Hertfordshire |
| Age | 2 months |
| Date of Birth | 06/03/2005 |
| Date of Death | 14/05/2005 |
| Visitors | 3,082 since 19/05/2008 |
| Creator |
At the beggining of August 2004 i had done a pregnancy test with my partner after convincing my self how i couldnt be pregnant! i even had to do a second test a few days later i was so shocked! we were so happy tho so i made my doc appointment. wed sit there at nite when we were both back from work and think wot we would call our baby and how amazing everything was going to be. we didnt want to tell anyone, not even our familys until i had had my first scan, jus to make sure, andthat everything was ok.
on the 23rd of september 2004 i had my first scan, i was so excited to see my baby for the first time! this was all new to me as this was my first pregnancy. well we were called in i was so excited i was shakin! so i layed on the chair an sat bk, as i watched the screen everything look so strange, the midwife started movin the scanner about and was looking a bit confused, so i started to worry! an my partner looked at me with a worryin look an took my hand. the midwife then said 'well id jus like to say, theres not one but two babies in your belly!' both our faces were such a picture! i cudnt talk! neither could trry we were so speachless!. whern we left we both had such a big smile obn our faces! we even saw my mum in the super market but it jus wasnt the place to tell her, but i so wanted ot, i had the scans with me and everything!
a day later we told our parents they were so happy when we told them and then when we said there was two they were all speachless! i felt so proud already 'I WAS GOING TO BE A MUM'.
in october i had to have a scan with my peadatrtion because i was having twins jus to check things were ok. I was told i might have to have a csec because i had a low lying placenter but it was early stages so he said things could change.
i couldnt wait till my nxt scan but i had to wait till december it felt like forever i just wanted to see my babies again!
my 20 week scan came along an i was so excited. we went in an again i lay there they had grown so big i cudnt believe it! then i asked if they were able to tell the sex at this stage and the midwife said she would have a look she said 'well we have a little boy over here, and this little one is all curlled up with their legs crossed!' we laughed and she said ' well tell you wot if you have a little cough an wriggle maybe theirl move and they did 'it a little girl' the midwife said, wow what more could you wish for!
After that i had to have a scan evry 2 weeks as it was my first prgnancy and i was carrying twins i had to be closely moniterd.
time was goin so slowly and i was getting bigger and bigger! and christmas eve i had to start shopping for them i jus couldnt wait!!
In january i wenty into premature labour which was 3 months early which was very scary id neva been in hospital for my self before this.
eventully everything was stopped and 3 days later i was allowed home.
i was worried constantly after that they would be to small to come now i wanted them to stay in my belly and be healthy.
Thursday 4h march i went out for a meal with my freind and felt finei had a pizza with jalepeno and pineapple and sweet corn on mmm my fave, and as we left to go to the car, i had so much pain had to sit on the car park floor, i couldnt move. finally i made it home and terry was asleep i woke him to tell him but he said maybe its because its not long now. so i thought id have a bath and i might feel better, because it was terrys dads bday that day so we wee all going to have chinese (even tho i jus had pizza! hey i had an excuse!!) but i couldnt go in the end i felt to ill so terry went and i jus slept.a day later i still had the pains so that night terry stayed up with me till about 3am untill i was to tired to stay up!so we went to bed an i woke two hours later and felt so warm in by pjs a got outa bed turned the light on i thought i had wet my self so i didnt wake terry coz hed jus laugh but then i saw it was like blood and water so i paniked i thought sumit was wrong because it was still 5 weeks to early. so we called hospital an i was told to get straight there. when i got there my contraction werent to close 2gether yet so they put me on the machine to measure them. i hadnt called anyone else cause i didnt want to worry them. but then i was told its not long now! about 9am i had an altra sound to see how they were lying and who was head down but they couldnt work it out so they sed they would do an internal because if the first to come out wasnt head down id have to have a csec, but i was sick of those dam internals i jus said jus take me to theartre because if they arent head down it means ive gota go thew all that again and i cant take any more! so i was taken down and terry was put in his theatre stuff he looked so funny!! i was so petrified bout the epidual id worked my self up for the last 9 mnths about it! but wen it came to it i didnt even think about it i was to excited about my babies!
WOW at 10:08 mothersday Meghan lily was born followed by her brother Darcy 1 minute later. everything from there is such a blurr i was so not with it i was shocked and drugged up!! i dont remeber where the day went!! but i was so proud of them they were perfect Meghan weighed 4 lb 1 and Darcy 5 lb 6.
The second week of may Meghan really wasnt her self, so at 1 am in the mornin when terry was at work i took meghan and darcy to the hospital with me as id made an emergncy appointment with the out of hours surgery doctor. he checked meghan but he said nothing seemed to be wrong but i knew she rally wasnt her self she was non stop crying but he jus sent me home. apart of me so wishes i had taken her across to the A&E for a second oppinion i hate my self for it.
then friday the 13th of may me and my partner had a terriable night Meghan did not sleep so we were awake with her and Darcy al night terry had to do a couple hour work with his mate on the market so had to leave at 6am but was bk for 9am. we were all so tired and Meghan actually went to sleep and Darcy so we thought before we go out for the afternoon wed all catch up on a bit of sleep! i kept wakin to check on Meghan and Darcy they both seemed fine. untill i woke up to start gettin ready because they were going to be hungry soon but when i went to check on Meghan she was so flopy i picked her up and she jus didnt move she was warm as well so i was screamin for terry to get up then Darcy started crying i was cuddling Meghan trying to wake her up but nothing was happenin terry tried mouth to mouth as i got on the phone to 999 i couldnt get my words out i was so confused, nothing felt real. she had only been laying on the bed pulling terry hair a few hours before.
It felt like the amberlance to ages but acording to the inquest it took them 9 minutes to get from where they were to pick us up and get to A&E . i went in the amberlance with her while terry had to wait with darcy at home till his mum and dad got there to look after darcy and drive him over to the hospital. i couldnt go in while they were trying to recusate Meghan i couldnt even stand up i was lost and confused. then at 3pm Meghan was pronounced dead after half an hour of trying , they told us by law there not allowed to go on trying any longer than that., i didnt know what to do i wanted my daughter back, im her mother and i couldnt do anything to bring her bk. half an hour later we were told we could go and see our daughter, she layed there in a moses basket, she still looked so perfect, it wasnt fair, i couldnt talk to anyone, i held her and jus didnt let go, i thik we spent about 3 or four hours with her and our family after about 20 mins of Meghan passing the police were there so quickly even when Terry was leavin the house they were standin outside our flat. it was so scary i felt like they thought we had done somthing, and thought they would take Darcy away from us to.But they were realy nice but it was routine to have to question us straight away. i jus felt like a criminal though. they said no one would be aloowed back to the flat till they had gone and taken photos and pick up a few of her bits like bottles and the infacol she had ben using and a blanket she had. We were told we could spend asmuch time as we wanted with her so we did and a couple of hours later they said they would have to take her away. i didnt want to go home me and terry and Darcy satyed with his mum and dad for a few days we couldnt face going back to the flat it didnt feel right without Meghan. Terrys mum and dad took over with Darcy for a few days till we were a little bit stronger. i had to have the doctor out that night and he had to prescribe me some valium to help me sleep.
a couple days later the police officer and a peadatrtion came to see us and explain how meghan would look next ime we saw her and what would happen with the post mortem, i really didnt want to hear it all. as we only lived across the road from terrys mum we all took a walk to the flat 2geva with them for the first time.
The next day we went over to see Meghan she looked so different she was in a room all by her self they had put her in some clothes so the nxt day i took sonme of her own clothes and a coat an blanket i didnt want her in the hospital clothes we took her some teddys and things to. it jus wasnt fair, i was spose to go before she did, i didnt feel like i had protected her enough. she still had tubes in her mouth aand needles in her legs so i asked the peadatrton why and he said he was sorry we had to see that and that shouldnt have been like that, and that had upset me even more. we kept seeing Meghan nearly everyday for the next two weeks because they could get her over to great ormand street untill then.
the morning they took her to Great Ormand street i went to see her before they took her, they told me i wouldnt have long that mornin beacuse the coroners were already there and waiting. i wanted to wait untill she was in the car but they wouldnt let me, i gave her a kiss and cuddle, the lady there was so nice she said they arent surpose to leave the room with the familys in and the body but she said she didnt feel like that was right so she left us.
a week later we were told meghan was bk and that she would be going straight to the funeral directors. so we went to see her next day she looked so different i jus wanted to cuddle her untill she was warm. we put some photos of us and her and darcy and some gifts that all the family had given that was personal to them with her .
The funeral was arranged for 6th june 2005 so everything was so far away, i jus wanted to be able to lay her to rest so she could come home and be with us all.
so she is still home with us now i have her buried yet because i dont want her on her own.just want her at home with us.
we had the inquest hearing on the 8th of september which was a very long wait. i was dreading that day so much evryone from that day was there the doctor amberlance driver, the man who did postmortom i could even look at him. the police it jus bought so many memories bk.
There were no results it all came back unexplained just a sudden death, and that doesnt feel right for e, beacuse there was no reason for her to leave us. im just so confused, just trying to be strong for Darcy and my partner she will always be our little baby girl. mummy little
Precious Child by Karen Taylor Good
In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still
In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still
In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then
In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥☆ ♥Here’s a Birthday greeting
Especially to show
How much you mean
Although you surely must know
That without a doubt
There’s no-one nicer than you
Or anyone dearer
To wish Happy Birthday to☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥☆ ♥
Happy Birthday In Heaven - by Winnie Lovett
"Happy Birthday Meaghan"
It's sure to be the best one yet,
Though you left us here behind.
Did you think that we'd forget?
Your cake this year, will surely be,
A beauty to behold.
With the icing made of Silver,
And the candles made of Gold.
Yes, your birthday in Heaven,
Will be such a grand affair.
And I know you'll look so lovely,
With a halo in your hair.
The Angels will come from everywhere,
To sing your birthday song.
And I know they'll be so happy,
That you've joined, God's Happy Throng.
No I can't send a card this year,
Or give a gift so fine.
So I'll just send a special prayer,
To that wonderful Daughter of yours.
♥♥ Heaven`s Little Princess ♥♥
………………..
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...…………**…………..
..**……….*….*……..**
….*..*…..*…..*….*..*
……*…..*……….*.....*
……************……….
……..*..lovel…*
…..*..lovelovelo…* ***♥♥ Heaven`s Little Princess ♥♥
…*..lovelovelove….*
..*.lovelovelovelove…*…………….*….*
.*..lovelovelovelovelo…*………*..lovel….*
*..lovelovelovelovelove…*….*…lovelovel...
*.. lovelovelovelovelove…*….*…lovelovelo.*
.*..lovelovelovelovelove…*..*…lovelove...
..*…lovelovelovelovelove..*…lovelovelo...
…*….lovelovelolovelovelovelovelovelo…*
…..*….lovelovelovelovelovelovelov…*
……..*….lovelovelovelovelovelo…*
………..*….lovelovelovelove…*
……………*…lovelovelo….*
………………*..lovelo
You are mammy`s little princess
But you’re in heaven now
She dream`s that she could hold you
And wish`s she knew how
You will always be your mammy`s princess
She’ll always keep you in her heart
Until some day she see`s you
Then you`s won’t be apart
So be happy little princess
In Gods heaven up above
And everyday till you meet again
She will send you all her love.
~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥
(\(\
(='.')
o(_")")
╬♥═╬
╬═♥╬// ♥♥♥ A ROCKING CHAIR IN HEAVEN.♥♥♥
There Is A Rocking Chair In Heaven
And Jesus Is Singing A Lullaby Today
For this Precious baby
That The Angels Took Away
A Baby Is A Special Gift
That Our Arms Long To Hold
We Don't Know God's Purpose
As Our Tears Softly Flow
Yet, We Know We Must Trust Him
When The Doubts Cross Our Mind
That There Is A Reason
Although Our Hearts Are Blind.
~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥
♥ღ♥ Angel babies,
In Heaven above,
In God‘s care,
Wrapped in our love.♥ღ♥
♥ღ♥ Angel babies,
You’ll never know,
Just how much,
We miss you so.♥ღ♥
♥ღ♥ Angel babies,
Spirits set free,
To roam the skies,
For eternity.♥ღ♥
♥ღ♥ Angel babies,
Though we’re apart,
You’ll always remain,
Deep within our hearts.♥ღ♥
~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥
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....*......*..... --’’v(’’v’’)
........’*’ ....... -----’’v’’♥Goodnight Godbless♥
...( ’ ””()...................♥Sweetdreams Baby Girl♥
'(”( ’o’, )♥Love Tina (Callum Coulson`s Mammy) xXxXx♥
(o)(o)(,,)
---HAPPY NEW YEAR
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When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you.
And each time that you think of me
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand.
If we could bring you back again,
For one more hour or day,
We’d express all our unspoken love;
We’d have countless things to say.
If we could bring you back again,
We’d say we treasured you,
And that your presence in our lives
Meant more than we ever knew.
If we could bring you back again,
To tell you what we should,
You’d know how much we miss you now,
And if we could, we would.
Our memories build a special bridge
When loved ones have to part.
To help us feel we're with them still
And soothe a grieving heart.
Our memories span the years we shared,
Preserving ties that bind.
They build a special bridge of love
And bring us peace of mind.
As New Year approaches
It seems harder this time of year
We miss you so much more
The only thing that gets us through
Are the memories of before
So here's a card just for you
To show how much we care
I know your waiting with the angels
One day I'll see you there.
Thoughts Today Memories Forever
Angela(Christopher-John Rowe)Mum
I would like to thank everyone for all the candles, tributes gifts and kind words they have left on Christopher’s website I appreciate every single one.
I would also like to wish you all A Happy New Year & my best wishes for 2009.
Angela X
Friday 2nd January
☾☆ ☾☆ ☾☆☾☆ ☾☾☆
MY DEAR FRIEND
I'm sending you this Angel
with hopes for dreams all night.
She's bringing her Special Blanket
to wrap you in all tight.
It's made with Love and Stardust
and Magic through and through
to help you sleep very soundly
and awaken just like new.
So close your eyes and see her
floating near your side,
she's there to tuck you in, dear Friend,
for a dreamy sleep filled ride.
You are so precious and so loved
and God watches over you every day.
Just remember your Good Night Angel
is only a thought away.
Blessings to you...
~ * ~ Precious Little Princess ~ * ~
NIGHT NIGHT
╔══♥
♥TO HEAR YOUR VOICE
♥ TO SEE YOUR SMILE
♥ TO SIT AND TALK TO YOU A WHILE
♥ TO BE TOGETHER IN THE SAME OLD WAY
♥ WOULD BE MY DEAREST WISH TODAY
╚══♥ xxx ♥═══♥
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0000000____X ANGEL X___00000000
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Lots Of Love
Janet & George
~ x ~ x ~ x ~
Love you
just up thinking about you meggymoos mummys precious angel, we miss you so much you will neva be forgotten, lucies talking alot more about you now :) play peacefully in the angel garden big hugs& kisses love you with all our hearts mummy,daddy,darcy,lucie n millie xx
Dear Friend
My dear friend , Just a little letter to let you understand .
Why you have not seen me light any of your candles recently
First i would like to say thank you so much for your support
Your Candles Pictures Messages have meant the world to me
Due to ongoing health problems i have been unable to light all my angel friends candles , Even those of my own little angel Andrew were not being lit by me , I have had to rely on my dear friend Maggie as i am unable to do so myself ,
I felt i should give you,s my friends an explanation from me
myself . I do not know how long i am going to be feeling so unwell . It has just been one thing after another with my illnesses & i don,t seem to be picking up much at all especially over this past week . My friends i can only apologise for being unable to visit my Angel Friends & light
their candles . At this time just now i have no other alternative . Other than to apologise to you,s my friends
As i am not well enough to visit my angel friends sites .
Please know although i am not on lighting your angels candles i will always hold a special place for each and every one of you close to my heart . As soon as i am well enough
I hope to be able to resume my visits to my friends .
Until then i will always be thinking of you. Take Care
Love Always Janet x
Thank You
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Dear Lord,
Every single evening
As I'm lying here in bed,
This tiny little Prayer
Keeps running through my head:
God bless all my family
Wherever they may be,
Keep them warm and safe from harm
For they're so close to me.
And God, there is one more thing
I wish that you could do;
Hope you don't mind me asking,
Please bless my computer too.
Now I know that it's unusual
To Bless a motherboad
But listen just a second
While I explain it to you, Lord.
You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds and ends;
Inside those small compartments
Rest so many of my friends
I know so much about them
By the kindness that they give,
And this little scrap of metal
Takes me in to where they live.
By faith is how I know them
much the same as you.
We share in what life brings us
And from that our friendships grew.
Please take an extra minute
From your duties up above,
To bless those in my address book
That's filled with so much love.
Wherever else this prayer may reach
To each and every friend,
Bless each e-mail inbox
And each person who hits 'send'.
When you update your Heavenly list
On your own Great CD-ROM,
Bless everyone who hear's this prayer
Sent up to GOD.com.
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Thank you for all the lovely candles, While i have been unable to come on daily myself due to being unwell , It means so much to me to have such a special friend ,
Love Always Janet x
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